


Not Dave

by aruarudayo



Series: In Other Words [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, POV Second Person, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, identity crisis, mentions of jade and rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 06:13:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2140152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aruarudayo/pseuds/aruarudayo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Skinship </i>(Japanese): Bonding through the intimacy of touch, especially of the closeness between a parent or a child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Dave

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE(from prompt): This is a pseudo-English word coined by Japanese speakers referencing existing English words; it is not strictly English. Transliterated into Japanese, it is something like スキンシップ; in Korean, which has adopted the word, it is 스킨십. It can connote ‘sharing a bath naked’, but more often has the platonic context.
> 
> prompt from paual@dreamwidth

You are not Dave, or at least, not this timeline’s Dave. You’ve come to terms with that over the course of the game. It’s to be expected, as you’ve pretty much forfeited rights to the title of “Real Dave” when you decided to merge with a hunk of data and a resurrected crow. The things you saw in your timeline never happened here, and you’re thankful for that. That’s what matters.

Still, it’s easy to forget.

Seeing John for the first time—living, breathing, grinning that stupid grin of his that’s exactly as you imagined—is overwhelming. You have no time to brace yourself, dragged suddenly off the battlefield and onto a bright yellow boat hurtling through space, right in front of the Heir. 

The memories of your doomed timeline rush back; after realizing the serious problems with John and his denizen meeting prematurely, Rose had urgently contacted everyone in hopes of talking him out of it. You had practically yelled at John through Pesterchum, nearly cracking your iPhone from typing so violently. After a while, you talked to an empty chatbox, knowing full well one of your best friends was dead and another friend would join him soon. You spent hours with Jade, as did Rose, until neither of you received any more responses. 

The rest is four long months of fighting—fighting countless enemies in hopes of fighting down the emptiness that plagued you every time you bothered to think.

Your fingers itch as you remember. You regret a lot of things, but mostly, you just regret not having this moment until now, in a different timeline, when you aren’t the “Real Dave” and the feeling of meeting someone for the first time is lost under the fraudulent feeling that you know John feels, deep down. 

Before you know what you’re doing, your hand is reaching for him. You barely catch yourself from running blood-soaked fingers through his dark hair, from grabbing his shoulder, from sweeping him up in a hug. Having these urges is unusual, but you desperately want to touch him, to ensure that he’s real, that he’s truly alive, and that you yourself are real as well. You want to be worthy of being his friend just like “Real Dave” and be accepted as something other than the Dave Strider this timeline knows.

John notices your hand hovering in the air and gives you a quizzical look. The cool kid façade slips on so easily even though you’re missing a wing, a good amount of blood, and every ounce of calm in your body. The itch in your fingers persists though, manifesting in a slight tremble through them. 

As you move to drop your hand, John grabs it. You open your mouth to protest, even though it’s exactly what you want, but John shakes his head. “You look like you needed this.” 

John’s grip on his hand tightens, and you’re reminded that you really aren’t Dave, that Dave’s stupid act doesn’t crack nearly this easily, that you’re tired of trying to be the Dave John already knows. Your shaking gets worse, and it’s John that steps closer, ruffling your hair and feathers, patting your shoulder and throwing his arms around you, all with a stupid smile on his face. 

You carefully return the embrace and you feel John’s smile grow.


End file.
